Do it Smarter: Driving Vacations

It’s the first day of summer, and many of us have already been bitten by the “vacation bug.” In order to maintain financial as well as mental balance in this economy, many American families are opting for “driving vacations.” However, while you off exploring America, your “home on wheels” can quickly become a mess. Whether you’re planning to take the family on weekend day trips or week long road trips; keeping a clean, clutter-free car will help keep your mind clear and clutter-free too. Did you know that the average American spends 15 hours driving each week? Car clutter (like that bottle rolling under your feet) causes many driving accidents each year. Here’s how to Auto(matically) upgrade your car to work smarter for your family:

1.   Speed clean – inside and out:

a.    Target gunk on your car’s exterior with Turtle Wax Bug & Tar Remover ($6 Turtlewax.com) then head for the local car wash.

b.    De-smudge armrests and door handles with Armor All Cleaning Wipes ($4.25; mass retailers). Wrap a wipe around a twig to get the grime that collects in cup holders.

c.    Suck up dirt and schmutz on the car seats, carpet, and trunk with a cordless handheld vac Dirt Devil Gator BD10165 ($55 dirtdevil.com).

d.    Make the car smell nice with Febrese Car Vent Clips ($5 for 2, Febrese.com) and remove smelly stains with Hoover Platinum Collection Instant Stain Remover ($10, Hoover.com).

2.   Curb Clutter

a.    Reclaim the driver’s seat with the tiered Travelstacks from Quirky ($20, bedbathandbeyond.com) to contain odds and ends near the cup holder – while still stashing a drink.

b.    Re-use empty cold cereal boxes that the children personalized with contact paper, stick-on letters, shapes, and stickers to hold paper, coloring books, magazines, flat pencil case (with crayons, markers, and pencils), and small toys. (FREE)

c.    Re-purpose a medium sized UPS delivery box to create a “Dump Monster” to eat refuse collected inside the car. (Parents cut off the box flaps, and then use scissors to cut zig-zag design along the edges. Children can paint (teeth) zig-zag edges black, and the rest of the box (body) green. Then add wiggly eyes and pom-pom noses on each of the four sides. Have the children take turns dumping the monster at rest stops as needed. (FREE)

d.   Corral groceries and purchases, then shuffle them into the hotel with an old Laundry Basket (FREE) or the very pretty Horizon Rectangular Crunch Cans ($20, Umbra.com, containerstore.com) which flatten when not in use.

Last year my family took two “driving vacations” to the Resort Capital of the East Coast - Atlantic City, New Jersey. My daughter still talks about our Casino Hotel stay and the days we spent on the beach and boardwalk. I took so many pictures to preserve our experiences for her, but our Atlantic City “driving vacation” memories will be etched in her little brain for years. Isn’t that what vacations are all about – creating lifelong family memories? Where will your family vacation this year? What mode of transportation will you use to get to your vacation destination? We would love to hear your family’s favorite story about “driving vacation” memories. Please send an email to EpikosNJ@gmail.com with “driving vacations” in the subject line. You could be my next guest blogger, and share your memories with other readers that enjoy “Living Mindfully Today” too. We will feature “Driving Vacations” blogs for the entire Summer 2012. Here we go!

Are you a Nonconformist or an Independent Thinker?

Independent Thinkers like you are analytical and witty persons. You are self-confident and do not let yourself get worked up by conflicts and criticism. You are very much aware of your own strengths and have no doubts about your abilities. People of your personality type are often very successful in their career as they have both competence and purposefulness. Independent Thinkers are excellent strategists; logic, systematics and theoretical considerations are your world. You are eager for knowledge and always endeavor to expand and perfect your knowledge in any area which is interesting for you. Abstract thinking comes naturally to you; scientists and computer specialists are often of this type. Source: http://www.ipersonic.com/type/IT.html

A nonconformist is a totally honest and transparent person who says what they think does what they want. A true nonconformist does what they want to do and not what other people want them to do. Source:  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nonconformist

When I was a High School Sophomore, my English Literature teacher assigned a reading of the book "The Illustrated Man" and my life changed forever. Ray Bradbury was such a talented author. His gift as an author was the ability to draw you into a world of "Science Fiction" that captured your mind from the beginning to the end of the book. It was around the same time that I saw the movie "Something Wicked this Way Comes." That movie had a profound affect on my life as a teenager and now as a 40something adult. After watching that (Wicked) movie, I learned that a person’s appearance has nothing to do with what is really going on inside their mind.

1. Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

2. Challenge everything. My motto "If you believe that, you'll believe anything." “My life is what I make it.” I've always felt free to be and do what I believe without experiencing feelings of guilt, jealousy, or regret. Living life for yourself is the only way to be yourself.

3. Know and embrace yourself, flaws and all. You'll be less likely to want or need someone to fulfill all your desires and dreams. I can do whatever I put my mind too.

4. True happiness is based on who you are not on where you are, your life circumstances, or the possessions you acquire during your lifetime.

5. Ray Bradbury's movie (Wicked) and book (Illustrated) taught me that tattoos are permanent. At some time in your life you will regret that tattoo of the cat sized black panther on your right thigh, so I've never had any desire to get one to this day.

6. Nothing that happens to you is neither pleasant nor unpleasant. It depends on the way your mind chooses to see it. I learned that after giving birth to my first daughter, S. Childbirth IS painful, but the joy I felt when I held my baby for the first time nullified the pain of 14 hours of labor. In other words childbirth is extremely unpleasant, but holding your baby in your arms for the first time is extremely pleasant. Apparently I chose to see having a baby as a "pleasant" experience, because I did it again regardless of the fact that labor pains are extremely "unpleasant."

To answer my own question – I am definitely a nonconformist. Please feel free to leave your answer to the question (nonconformist or independent thinker) in the comments section below. I am very interested to read your responses.

If by chance you do not know about Ray Bradbury, go immediately to the nearest library to read any one of his 50 books, or order the movie "Moby Dick (1956)" from Amazon. It will be well worth the read and the money. Off you go!

10 Bloggers Celebrating Ray Bradbury's Life & Legacy

 

Ray Bradbury Quotes: “Wisdom From Fahrenheit 451’ Author” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/ray-bradbury-quotes-rip_n_1574183.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

1.   Sam Weller: “The Art of Fiction No. 203” http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/6012/the-art-of-fiction-no-203-ray-bradbury

2.   Malika Rao & Gazelle Emani: “Ray Bradbury Dead: Fahrenheit 451’ Author Dies at 91” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/ray-bradbury-dead-dies-at-91_n_1573849.html?ref=books&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000008

3.   Craig W. Anderson: “Celebrating Ray Bradbury’s Life with his 10 Best Works” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/craig-w-anderson/ray-bradbury-10-best-stories_b_1574356.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000008

4.   Kia Makarechi: “Ray Bradbury Movies. Remembering the Author’s Influence on Cinema and Television (videos) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/ray-bradbury-movies-dead-fahrenheit-451_n_1574138.html

5.   Cole Abaius: “5 Ray Bradbury Movies you can watch right now” http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/features/5-ray-bradbury-movies-you-can-watch-right-now.php

6.   Leslie Irish Evans: “Ray Bradbury did not Die Today” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/leslie-irish-evans/ray-bradbury-dead_b_1574519.html

7.   John Farr: “In memory of Ray Bradbury, the 10 Best Science Fiction Films” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-farr/in-memory-of-ray-bradbury_b_1576820.html

8.   Richard Eskow: “Future Tense: Mourning the Political Ray Bradbury” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rj-eskow/present-tense-future-impe_b_1574581.html

9.   Ed Finn: “What is Science Fiction Good For? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ed-finn/what-is-science-fiction-good-for_b_1569279.html

10.                Ann VanderMeer & Jeff VanderMeer: “13 of the Weirdest Short Stories Ever Written” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ann-vandermeer/weird-stories_b_1500794.html

Thank you Ray Bradbury for all your contributions to my life and the world of books and literature. You will live on in our memories and on books shelves all over the world forever and ever. Thank you to all the bloggers who scrambled to get content to disseminate to Ray Bradbury fans throughout the blogger world. Your hard work is greatly appreciated.  

Rudeness, Bullying, and Unethical Behavior, Is there an App for that?

Recently my sister and I had a conversation about how cell phone technology has affected the way people interact with one another today, specifically when it comes to being kind, courteous, grateful, and being polite. Have you ever encountered any of these situations lately?

* A relative passes away, and you are informed with an email.

* You hold the door for the person walking directly behind you, and they pass you without smiling, nodding, or saying “thank you.”

* You are talking to a young child or teenager (not your daughter or son), and they roll their eyes with disdain at any time during the conversation.

* You call your credit card company’s customer service number, and the representative addresses you by your first name like they know you personally.

* A person bumps into you on the street on in the mall and they don’t even say “excuse me” or “sorry.”

* You are trying to merge into traffic on a busy street, and no one stops or slows down to let you gain entrance to the roadway.

* You give a friend playoff tickets to see the NY Devils play at Madison Square Garden, and they never call to say “thank you” the day after. (LOL – Inside joke for Seinfield fans.)

If I wanted to know how to spell a word as young girl, I would go look up that word in the dictionary. If I wanted to know how to cook a pepper steak dinner, I would watch my mother cook in our kitchen. If I needed to learn how to add and subtract numbers, I would study addition and subtraction number facts. I believe the current 40something generation with be the last to have used their brains to experience all that life has to offer. As a child, I used my brain to memorize facts and information to get smarter because there was no such thing as a “SmartPhone.” Want to know how to spell a word today? There’s an App for that. Want to get a recipe for dinner tonight? There’s an App for that. Want to learn how to add and subtract. There’s an App for that. What an oxymoron! – “Smartphones” are making us dumb and our brains numb. I love my iPhone as much as the next Apple customer, but I still use my brain to acquire new information. Currently I am learning how to create and maintain Terrariums. Yes I actually went to the library, checked out the book ("The New Terarrium" by Tovah Martin – information retrieved from memory not Google), and acquired that book free of charge. 

For goodness sake, today you don’t even have to open a book to learn how to read. Cell phone technology has taken us so far away from the basics that I fear the younger generations will never really learn anything. Oh sure the typical kindergartener today is much smarter than I ever was at the age of 5, but that’s because they are exposed to so much more information and technology. I probably did not know the difference between a triangle and a hexagon at age 5, but I did acquire two Master’s Degrees and a State Certified Teaching License by the age of 38. How many of these “Android dependent" teenie boppers will accomplish the completion of two advanced college degrees and passing of state required tests in order to pursue their chosen occupation or career? In fact I challenge you to visit your local High School, find the English Teachers, and review the latest essays written by their students. If you dare to take on my challenge, look specifically for misspellings, grammatical errors, and syntax oversights. If you’re still not convinced, go to your favorite fast food restaurant, and request that the “teenage” cashier give you change for $20.26 for a meal that cost $7.11 without looking at the cash register? 

All of this brings me to a more disconcerting fact of the “SmartPhone” age – the dissolution of the development of “Character Traits.” As a mother and educator, I believe the development of “Character traits’ are equally important as knowing how to solve Algebraic equations. Why? Character traits are a wonderful set of principles to live by, and making good choices by knowing the right thing to do in life can never steer you wrong. I recently read an article that listed all ten character traits and how to develop them for yourself and within your family:

The 10 Character Traits 

1.  Be Honest. Tell the truth; be sincere; don't mislead or withhold key information in relationships of trust; don't steal.

2.  Demonstrate integrity. Stand up for your beliefs about right and wrong; be your best self; resist social pressure to do wrong.  

3.  Keep promises. Keep your word and honor your commitments; pay your debts and return what you borrow. 

4.  Be loyal. Stand by family, friends, employers, community and country; don't talk about people behind their backs.  

5.  Be responsible. Think before you act; consider consequences; be accountable and "take your medicine".  

6.  Pursue excellence. Do your best with what you have; don't quit easily.

  7.  Be kind and caring. Show you care through generosity and compassion; don't be selfish or mean.  

8.  Treat all people with respect. Be courteous and polite; judge all people on their merits; be tolerant, appreciative and accepting of individual differences.  

9.  Be fair. Treat all people fairly; be open-minded; listen to others and try to understand what they are saying and feeling.  

10.  Be a good citizen. Obey the law and respect authority; vote, volunteer your efforts; protect the environment.

Smartphones are creating a generation of socially and morally inept citizens. A world where is it much easier for people to text messages than it is to actually pick up the phone to dial and speak to someone. A world that makes it easier for people to hide in the “internet abyss of unidentifiable miscreants” and create schemes that hurt, steal from, and deceive innocent victims.

Can you imagine a world without rudeness, bullying, and unethical behavior? A world filled with compassionate people who treasure the gift of friendship and forgiveness. A world filled with good citizens who use these principles as an excellent basis for developing a “Personal Value System” because they know the meaning of respect and fairness. A world filled with honesty resulting in the filing of fewer frivolous law suits because of unethical behaviors and greed. If so, develop your own “personal philosophy” that incorporates the character traits above. Share your personal philosophy with your family members today, and especially with the children. I believe that it takes a village of “well-balanced” adults to raise a “well-balanced child”, and there’s no App for that….

"Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece -- by thought, choice, courage and determination."

  John Luther

AH HA Moments

On February 2, 2012 I had taken a picture with my oldest daughter "S", formerCatholic School Principal, at my Grandmother’s funeral in a church I grew upattending with my iPhone. Later that night I looked at the picture, and saidout loud, “What happened to me?” I was so overweight. I looked so tired andworn down. I know I was at a funeral but OMG!, Changes had to be made right away.If I hadn’t taken that picture with Sr. Mary Lou that day, I would have nevernoticed. How could I? The focus has been off me for so long. As most womenbecome wife, mother, sister, friend, career woman, we fall into the role ofcaregiver. In all my adult years, I’ve been taking care of and doing for othersto the point of total exhaustion. I had been so giving to others without givinganything back to myself. The end result of years of neglect wasn't glamorous at all, that picture showed that I was depleted, run down, andunhealthy. It's funny how one picture put everything into perspective for me, because "good or bad" - the camera never lies.

The lesson learned - I am important. I have needs. I have to takecare of myself first, so I can take care of others properly – my husband, mychildren, my family, my friends, and my community. Unfortunately for 20 years Ihad it all wrong – putting myself or "my" happiness first was notselfish, it's self-love. It meansthat I needed to start doing things that nurture my body, mind, and spiritEVERY DAY. 

First I had to learn that loving yourself is not something you feel issomething you do. I looked through volumes of personal writing journals, andthere weren't any pages of what I was doing for myself - page after page wasfilled with problems at home, struggles with my self-worth, and difficulties atwork.  I've learned that being good to yourself takes little time andeffort. Adding a few, small, loving actions into my daily routing is one of themost effect ways for me to practice self-love.

Every day is a 24 hour gift of life. Here are some wonderful suggestions tohelp you get the most out of every hour, every day, every month, every year,and your life.

1. Move your body:   

     a. Daily exercise routine - I find going to my neighborhood "SpaLady" gym is a peaceful, energizing experience. I get to change my environment andimmerse myself into my triathlon workout. Biking, swimming, and running are allvery liberating and rewarding. I increase the intensity and length of time everyweek and I feel powerful. There are many things I cannot control in my life on any given day, but being good to my body is just what I need to feel balanced, happy, andconfident.

    b. Go for a "soul stroll."  Opt for awalk in a park, around a pond, on a beach - or any place that is beautiful toyou. Enjoy the fresh air, appreciated your surroundings and relax. I like tocall this "walking meditation." Concentrate on your breathing, createa mantra (breathe in and say "I am calm" and breathe out 'I amlove"), and try to walk gently so your feet barely touch the ground. Even15 minutes will lift your spirit, clear your mind, and give you a boost ofenergy.

    c. Put on your favorite CD dance around, sing yourheart out, and just have fun.

    d. Learn how do play an organized game (bowling,soccer, volley ball) by joining a team. You will meet new people increasingyour "friend circle" and confidence.

    e. Lighten up and Laugh: Take a moment to thinkabout who or what makes you laugh. Is it animal antics, comedians, cartoons, acertain friend, jokes, games, a TV Show, hearing a funny story, playing withyour partner, children, or pets? Think about your sense of humor and what makesyou smile. I make a conscience effort to do something every day that inviteslaughter into my life. I love watching my dog, Taco, playing around the house -truly a comedian. I love to watch "Hot in Cleveland" and "TheBig Bang Theory" - guaranteed laughs every time.

    f. Visualize your hearts desires : What better wayto love yourself than to spend time every day consciously creating the lifethat makes you soul sing. Do you know what you really want? Can you describethe life your heart longs to live? The clearer you are about what you want, themore chance you have of creating it. There are many books and resources thatteach visualization and manifestation techniques. Actually my hearts desire isto create a life that combines – writing (LivingMindfully 2day blog – check),children (Little Philosophers Tutoring Service for Summer/Fall 2012), family (EpikosConsignment Clothing Boutique – check), Eco-friendly communities (Educatingchildren about backyard gardening “The Nia Gardening Project” – check), with a beautifulbeach house right off the water just like Ernest Hemingway's house in theFlorida Keys to vacation with my family (sans the suicidal thoughts of course LOL). Bewilling to take a risk and do something every day that moves you closer to yourheart's desire.

   g. Do something fun: I love the phrase "Nothing inlife is pleasant or unpleasant. It's just how your mind chooses to see it."Some mornings when I get out of bed my soul aches, and I feel a little blue.That's when I ask myself, "What can I do today that would be fun forme?" In the past waiting for the answer was an arduous task, but as the days roll by the answerunfolds and becomes quite clear. I've started painting again - It alwaysbrings me so much happiness. I'm learning about creating Terrariums because Ilove to make gifts for family and friends during the holiday (haven't done thatin forever too). Fun for me is unleashing my creative talents, and they arecoming back one at a time - pleasantly making my life fun again.

  h. Be Kind to Yourself:  We've become so accustomed tohaving conversation about ourselves - most of us are unaware of how unkind yourinner talk has affected your life. When you love and accept yourself, yourthoughts are generally positive and affirming. But if you’re like many people,the voice inside your head is an unrelenting inner critic, pointing out whatyou've done wrong, making judgments, and telling you how unworthy you are. Whatdo you say to yourself when you look in the mirror or think about your body?What thoughts go through your mind when you make a mistake? How do you speak toyourself when things aren't going well? I've found this great technique thatcuts negative self-talk off at mid-sentence. When you notice that you are beingunkind to yourself, snap your finger, and then say something positive aboutthat subject instead. If you can't find anything positive to say, then focusthe positive energy on yourself. It will take some practice, but I learned thatindex cards with positive statements and affirmations helped me a lot. You canpost them on a mirror, the refrigerator, or just carry them in your car orpurse. Just make sure you have at least 5 cards about you commenting on yourstrengths and best body features. I had to become my own cheerleader, and youcan do it too - "D, D - is the best. I'm the best (painter), from east towest." or "I have the best (eyes), from east to west.

   i. Enhance your environment: Feeling good in the placesand spaces where you spend a lot of time is a great way to love yourself

1. change the desktop on your computer. 2. new wall/desk calendars. 3. addplants or fresh flowers to every room. 4. add photos of your children, pet, orloved ones to every room. 4. highlight a meaningful gift or card that makes youfeel wonderful and loved when you look at it. 5. Burn scented candles.

I'm creating a meditation space filled with terrarium plants, a handmadeoversized meditation pillow, a bell, my framed morning affirmation, andpictures of my children in a corner of my bedroom. I'm also working onorganizing, painting, decorating, and de-cluttering the whole house. Just a fewthings to keep me busy while I'm waiting for my life's dreams to come true.

   j. Spend time with yourself: To love yourself you haveto know yourself and that means you need to spend some time alone. When you arearound other people, you are influenced by their energy, thoughts, feelings,and even expectations unconsciously. But when no one else is around and there'sno demands being placed on you, you can do something very important: listen toyour heart. Pay attention to what's really going on inside of you. When the madnessfinally stopped for me earlier this year, I heard the truth because my life suddenlybecame quiet. Now I listen to my heart, and it tells me to make time for myselfevery day.

  k. Live for yourself: We as women, mothers, sisters,daughters, and friends learn at very early age to care for others. We play withdolls, and make them our babies to care for just as our mothers cared for us.We care for pets and plants around the house because we know on some level theydepend on us to stay alive. We help injured friends on the playground, andbring them home so our mother (a nurse) can fix them up properly. We take homeand feed stray cats and dogs until our mother finds out and makes us releasethem. We become babysitters to earn extra cash as teenagers. We take jobs asteachers, nurses, doctors, veterinarians, and daycare workers because we careabout the well-being of other people so much we make a living doing just that -caring for others. Take a moment to think about your life. Are you living yourlife out of obligation to others or for your own happiness? 

One thing I know for sure is I will always live for myself. I am important,and so worthy of nothing less. Today I can honestly say I am happy. My life hasbecome balanced by practicing “SatiPatthana” (presence of mindfulness –mediation), incorporating fitness and exercise into my daily routine, and I havecommitted my family to a greener lifestyle by researching “Zero Waste” communities.I’m learning to love myself unconditionally because I am worthy to be loved. WhenI looked in the mirror this morning, I loved what I saw - face, body and all. I'vemade body changes that I (and my husband) truly appreciate by losing 50 poundsand regaining a healthier lifestyle. I take time for myself every day, and itis such a blessing to know who I am and what I want from my life. I’ve learnedto present myself to my husband flaws and all, because he has shown me that I havea safe place to go when I fall apart (and we all do sometimes) – right in his lovingarms. I'm learning to regain the happiness, joy, peace, patience, wisdom andtrust in my life through “mindful” meditation. I have a conversation with Godevery day and night, and I'm taking N to Church on Sunday so she knows thatGod is there for her too. A relationship with God will sustain you throughlife's adversities, and believe me - no one goes through life unscathed. My newmotto: Be strong, Hold on - Live long. 

50 pounds lighter May 2012

Are you ready to make changes in your life? You can start today just bylooking in the mirror, and saying “I promise to take care of you today andevery day.” Put on your best face, outfit, and shoes because the best days of therest of your life will begin right now – Here we go!